Easter Down South 2

….or Company in the House

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Samuel: Wherever did you find that Dad?
Lancelot: Designed it and built it myself. Takes a little while for the colours to wear off after Easter but we love the rainbow scrambled eggs. Best stay outside the fence now, the girls can get a little aggressive from the steroids.

Judith: So what are you all up to these days?
Tamara: Oh my God, we’re so insanely busy with the kids. I hardly have any time for my book club.
Judith: Oh, I’m in a book club too, we’re doing Hillbilly Elegy. What book are you doing?
Tamara: Oh we don’t have time to read a real book; we just bring in our used magazines and throw them on the table and  then we drink wine and eat sex-in-a-pan. It’s the only night I have to myself – the kids need so much schlepping.
Judith: Oh. What are they in?
Tamara: Well, Randalf refuses to be in anything that doesn’t start with a B. He’s in basketball, beach volleyball, the Mysterious Benedict club, and biathalon. He had to drop badminton because it clashed with baseball.
Judith: (eyes glazing over)  ..and Kendra?
Tamara: Oh she’s only in Irish dance, chess club, hockey, and toastmasters and Tai Kwon Do, brown belt don’t you know. I don’t know what we’re going to do next weekend when her Foosball tournament is on at the same time as Randalf’s 50 mile bike race and Samuel refuses to miss his Diogenes club……pour me another generous glass of that chardonnay would you, please and thank you.
Judith: (shouting) Honey, where are the grandchildren? It’s almost time to take them to get their picture with the Easter Bunny.

Lancelot: They’re in the playpen I built them. Just got to fill the hen’s water dispenser and then we can go.
Samuel: Any chance of sampling a little of this first?

Randolf: I can jump it if you can. Just climb down onto the honey-pot.
Kendra: Okay. But I don’t have my epi-pen. You got yours?

Kendra: You feel kind of creeped out?
Randolf: Yeah, like we’re being watched or something.


Henny: It’s a girl!!

Penny: Wow, girl, that would be a golden egg if it wasn’t pink! And you’d never pass the drug test.
Henny: My bum hurts.

Meanwhile, over at the trailer park:

Joodles: So he loads ’em up on skittles and steroids.
Tammy: And the hens don’t mind?
Joodles: Heck no. Least not until they see the turkey fryer comin’.

Fenny: Mighty nice egg thar’.
Jenny: Yeah, but my ass hurts.

Candy: Daddy, why do they call it an egg hunt when you can see all the eggs.
Sammy: I dunno, go ask yer Pappy.

Lannie: Well sweetie, it’s not so much about huntin’. It’s all about who can get the eggs before the gator gits em. Or gits you.

Randy: S’okay Sis, I got this. This’ll jam up his jaws fer sure.

Tammy: I can’t watch!!

Candy: Can I have this one Pappy?
Lannie: Okay, but only fer decoratin’. Them big ones is not so much for eatin’. Yer Grandma ate one last year and she grew a beard and a third ear.

Stay tuned ……

© Judy Parsons 2018

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