Christmas, Day Nine

…or On the Ninth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me: a new guitar.

Down at Seaside Villa:

Lancelot: So here’s the deal-e-o my little chicklets; Grandpa has to rehearse with The Cave Dwellers so I want you to listen to everything Brenda tells you, okay?
Lawrence and Marilyn: Yes, Grandpa.
Lawrence: Can we use your tools, Grandpa?
Lancelot: Sure just wear the eye goggles and don’t tell Grandma.

Brenda: Okay here’s the deal. If you don’t bother me you can have all the pop you can drink. Understood?

Lancelot: What do you think; should we open with some Eagles or plow right into Wild Thing?

Marvin: I’m thinking Wild Thing, then Sweet Home Alabama then maybe some Jimmy Buffet.
Lancelot: Sounds good. Why don’t you take it away Kenneth…

Kenneth: ♫ It’s another Tequila sunrise….. ♪♪♪

Judith: Aaugh.

Meanwhile over at the Trailer Park

Lannie: OK kids, here’s the deal. I’ve got to practice for a gig with The Man Land Band so I need you to fend fer yerselves. Help yourself to the soda pop and if you stay away from Grandma I’ll buy you a puppy.
Randy: Can we use your tools?
Lannie: Sure, but only the power tools, the others are too hard to sharpen.

Lannie: A’right boys, why don’t we open it up with “No Trash in My Trailer”, then “Hell Yeah, I like Beer” and “Maybe “Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On” if you can remember the words to that one Garry. In the key of G…

Candy: I think we should call our new pup Kola.
Randy: Sure whatever you like. Now help me cart this over to the shed and we can come back for another load.

Joodles: False advertising I thinks – the box said these were noise cancelling headphones.

© Judy Parsons 2019.

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