Judy P's Tickle Trunk

….or Santa goes sporty.

Well, boys and girls, I think I figured it out in my last post. That is, figured out why the tacky Christmas sweater went into a rapid decline. It was because they were just too warm; the heavy cotton or wool, the excitement of wearing it, the buzz from the red wine – people were ending up prostrate and delirious.

This would have been my next choice but all that fur – oh me thermostat, I’m boilin’ over just thinkin’ about it.

It had to stop so clever merchants just found a way to move on. They produced tacky Christmas shirts instead.

By the late nineties many of my female friends had taken up golf and of course those same clever manufacturers wanted to cash in on whatever funds they had left over from club fees so they designed golf Christmas cards, mugs, bottle openers, and of course, Christmas T shirts. (get it Golf Tees) My tacky shirt of the day seems that much more appropriate because I am wintering on the Golf Coast. What’s that Lance, oh, the Gulf Coast.

Nice cool white but what is the deal with the long sleeves? Its 80 degrees out here!

You can’t see the little sparkly beads like Christmas lights on the palm trees but I assure you that they are they are there.

What is a new garment without accessories? I got me nice club at the thrift store for a dollar.

Oh look, it’s a low torque super light junior tour club. Wonder how it works.

I just have to try it out.

 Not much of a putter. At least not with a tangerine.

Ah, it’s not a putter, it’s a whacker!!

You can probably tell by now that in the late nineties I got more into the water sports than the golfing.

Perhaps it was the tangerine which was holding me back from perfection. Certainly not my swing. I found a real golf ball under the back deck amongst the detritus of the last tenants. I am straining here to behave like a real adult and not snigger or make some bad joke about it having a a three letter word that begins and ends in T and sounds the same forward as it does backward and is not a word for a small child. I am not even tempted. Not in the leist.

One of these things is not like the others.

But you can whack them all with a golf club. Perhaps I should stick with boating.

© Judy Parsons 2015. Comments still in failure mode.