On the Seventh Day of Christmas

…My True Love Gave to Me….

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Lancelot: Heh, heh, Judith is going to love these clearance Christmas trees.

Judith: Oh Lancelot, they remind me of winter back home. But Dear, Christmas Day is long gone and they do block the beautiful sunsets.

Meanwhile over at the Trailer Park

Joodles: Lannie come quick! Someone stole our house!!

Lannie: Ah quite yer bellowin’ girl, it’s still there. Jes can’t see it behind these discount trees I bought.
Joodles: Enough!! Enough with the lawn stuff! Christmas is half over for cryin’ out loud.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
Seven Fake Coniferous Trees. 
(or just the cones of said trees, depending on where you live)

© Judy Parsons 2017

On the Sixth Day of Christmas

…My True Love Gave to Me

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Lancelot: There, that’s the last one dear.

Judith: The last one of what, honey?

Lancelot: The last of the manatees. You said you wanted manatees.
Judith: Sweetie, you really should look into those hearing aids. I may have said “more trees”, not “manatees”. But they’re soooo sweet. I wonder what they eat?

Meanwhile over at the Trailer Park

Joodles: Where the binkity-blank did all the monkeys come from?
Lannie: I got ’em on sale. You said you wanted more monkeys.

Joodles: Clean out yer ears, ya nimrod, I said “more trees” not “monk-ees
Lannie: Must have been that knock on the head I got buildin’ snowmens. Sheesh. Everyone loves monkeys.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
Six Mistake Manatees 
(or Six Mistake Monkeys – depending on where you live)

© Judy Parsons 2017

On the Fifth Day of Christmas

My True Love Gave to Me….

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Lancelot: Honey, just wait til you see what a deal I got on white balls.

Judith: Oh sweetie, the pattern on them matches the little sleigh ornament Aunt Millie sent!
Lancelot: Meant to be dear. Bought four, got one free.
Judith: My gracious, if you keep this up we’ll have to get more trees.

Penguin 1: Oh yeah man, Key West was totally lit. We sang back-up for Jimmy Buffett and drank margaritas all day.

Meanwhile, over at the Trailer Park

Joodles: Now what are ya draggin’ home?
Lannie: Snowman parts. Buy four get one free!
Joodles: How you gonna get them lifted?
Lannie: Same ways I lifts ever’thin’.

Lannie: Okay, Blue, when I says haul, giv’er.
Joodles: Oh My God, be careful, remember the Milton steeple!

Lannie: Well don’t jes stand there, git me down!
Joodles: Not until you promise not to buy any more decorations. Why couldn’t you just get a couple more trees or somethin’. It’s Florida, for Pete’s sake, not snowman country.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
Five White Balls

© Judy Parsons 2017

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On The Fourth Day of Christmas

..My True Love Gave to Me

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Judith: Oh honey, four little angels!! Might as well set them up inside. But what’s with that odd one out?

Lancelot: It was buy three, get one free, on Christmas items at the Goodwill.

Judith: Well she is just a little rustic but quite lovable. Reminds me of my high school glee club director a little. But seriously, maybe we should cut back on the decorations; the dogs are getting a little spooked.

Meanwhile over at the Trailer Park:

Joodles: Aaw, a quartet of waxy choir girls. Some sweet. Do you wind them up or something?
Lannie: Naw, they don’t sing a note. And they’re angels. Bought three, got one free, harps not included.

On The Fourth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
Four Silent Angels

On the Third Day of Christmas

…My True Love Sent to Me

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Judith: Oh those penguins are so precious dear, but better bring them inside. Too easy to carry them off.
Lancelot: But I got them with little built in bells so we can hear them being moved. Nifty, eh?
Judith: Over your snores? Better bring them in, honey.
Penguin 1: Bit hot here wouldn’t you say?
Penguin 3: Sure is, wanna head downtown see if we can find an iceberg?
Penguin 2: Hey, what’s that hangin’ in the palm tree? Hope that’s not what they plan for us!!

Lancelot: Well, if they start to tinkle in the night we’ll know we’ve been invaded. At least this time they all have their noses.
Judith: Beaks, dear. They all have their beaks.
Penguin 1: At least its a little cooler here by the fire.
Penguin 3: Sheesh, what do you suppose happened to that guy’s beak?
Penguin 2: Oh the horror.

Meanwhile over at the Trailer Park:

 

Joodles: Lannie, come quick. It’s gone!!

Lannie: What dang blasted so and so made off with my in-fa-latable snowmen?? #**!!%%**! Get yer purse my duckie, we’re goin’ to the Goodwill.

Joodles: Aaaw luh! Dat little one is some cute!
Lannie: Aint’ it tho. And I put bells on ’em so’s they’d tinkle if someone moved ’em.
Joodles: Tinkle. Teehee, you said tinkle.

On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me
Three Tinkling Waterfowl

© Judy Parsons 2017

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On the Second Day of Christmas

..My True Love Gave to Me:

Down at Florida Seaside Villa

Judith: Oh my heavens, they’re soooo sweet – his and hers snowpeople! You must have paid a fortune for them!
Lancelot: Naw, picked them up up at the Thrift Store for a song.

Lancelot: One of them is missing his nose but I can whittle down a carrot if you wish.
Judith: No, that’s okay dear, but you better bring them inside – anything that portable is sure to be stolen.

Meanwhile over at the trailer park:

Joodles: I told you not to spend any more money on decorations. I got this little tree at the Dollar Store.
Lannie: Aw heck, I got it at the Thrift Store; the lights are gone but it still blows up

Joodles: We might have to blow it up in a coupl’a weeks. Literally, cause ain’t no way we gonna fit that in the closet.
Lannie: We can stuff it in the camper. C’mon, ya gotta admit, it’s quite the in-fa-latable.

On The Second Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me:
Two Sledding Snowmen

© Judy Parsons 2017

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On the First Day of Christmas

…My True Love Gave to Me

It might have been the cheap strawberry flavoured wine, or the candy I found left in a box that I thought was empty (what did those Nuns put in their caramels?) I dunno. I lay down for a minute and next thing you know I was transported to Christmas in Florida. Which is not so odd given that I am spending Christmas in Florida. Click on any pic for a larger view:

Judith: Oh Honey, this ocean view is so beautiful but it really isn’t very Christmassy.
Lancelot: Sure if you look at that sand on a bright day, it almost looks like snow. But if you want I’ll run out and pick up something to put out in the yard .
Judith: You’re too sweet.


Judith: Well isn’t that something!!
Lancelot: Isn’t it though? I got it over at the Habitat for Humanity Restore.

Lancelot: That Buddha is 100% Italian silver.
Judith: Buddha? Dear, could we try something a little more, well, standard? A snowman or something?

Meanwhile, over in the park:

Lannie: Hmmm, dat’s nice but look over there at Bertha Bae Boovier’s trailer, she’s got one of everything.
Joodles: Well, I was tryin’ ta keep it simple d’is year. Whatta ya want?
Lannie: I dunno. I’m gonna run out and see what I can find.

Joodles: What in the name of Santa is that?
Lannie: T’is a t’ing what decorates yer lawn. I got it over to the Habitat for Humanity place. Dirt cheap.

Lannie: Betcha Bertha Bae won’t be able to find one like d’is.

Joodles: I don’t s’pose she will! T’is not really much like anyone else’s lawn stuff tho. Do you suppose you could find something more normal? Like a snowman or sumptin.

On the First Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to me – a Buddha in a Palm Tree. 

© Judy Parsons 2017

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Tree’s Up

….or Let’s Get Nautical.

Okay folks, I’ve really scaled it down this year. My thrift store tree is only a foot and a half high. It started out being smothered in little coloured lights. Cute for a day or two then I stripped it down and started again. Nautical theme. What can I say, at least it’s not pineapples.

The garland is a long strand of monkey’s fist and carrick bend knots.

 

I made net floats from marbles and fine wool.

 

..in a variety of colours.

 

A glass mermaid makes a fine tree topper.

 

This is as close as I will likely ever get to spending Christmas at sea. Maybe next year I’ll add a few seashells and some fish. Or a few pineapples.

© Judy Parsons 2017

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Thrift Store Delights

……And The Not So Delightful.

Thrift Store shopping has become my favourite indulgence but it is not without its frustrations. Like the old feller said; you gotta eat a lot of Cracker Jacks to get to that prize. Like this one

Bodum

Ooooh, red. Oooh, Bodum brand. Oooh, unbreakable, perfect for the camper. Well, all I have to say now is thank heavens the towel I used as a coffee pot cozy was already brown.

All that good coffee gone to waste.

It leaked over half of the coffee out around those plastic viewing windows before I even got the plunger started. If you are looking for unbreakable don’t buy one of these. And folks, please, if your kitchen gadgets give out, throw them away, don’t give them to a charity unless they have the means to melt them down for base materials. Sheesh. Three dollars right down the tubes.

But not all my purchases are broken. That said, they can still be disappointing. Like this one. Saw it, had to have it. I  have had an advent calendar since the kids were little and didn’t think to stop once they moved out. This was a smokin’ hot deal:

Genuine authentic LLBean advent calendar.

Yup. All the doors worked and all the little knobs were present and accounted for. There were no creepy crawlies or unidentifiable gooey substances lurking in the corners of the boxes. It just needed a quick wipe and it was ready to be loaded up. At least I tried to load ‘er up:

Chocolate too big, space too small. Either way, grrr.

And to think I just spent my month’s pension on little wrapped pieces of chocolate. Determined, I made it fit. But only one, and there are two of us counting down to Christmas.

Determined, I stogged one in.

Not so pretty now is it?

Not so appetizing once unwrapped.

Oh well, there are other kinds of little chocolates and these won’t go to waste.

But I do often have extraordinary thrift store kismet. Like the day I was wishing for a French curve (a drawing tool) and found one the next day in a shop for a dollar. Or the day I was going to explore the shops and Lance asked me to look out for a small table to use as a desk on the sunporch. I didn’t even make it to the store. There was a perfect sized computer desk sitting on the side of the road just down from the house with a paper saying FREE stuck to it. We really should start wishing for bigger and better things if the universe is going to make it that easy.

Just last week I was grinding a Chinese ink stick for a watercolour painting and had to use one of my white kitchen plates for a palette to dilute the black ink. Wasn’t happy about that; who knows what those ink sticks are really make of and who wants streaky plates. So I resolved to pick up a random white plate to be used as a palate the next time I was out. The universe, thank you very much, delivered. See for yourself.

My new white plate.

Now what could be more palette-like than that? I tells ya, I really should wish for bigger things. And so far it hasn’t disappointed.

Inked

Wait, what is that? Is that the face of Genghis Khan in my ink blot? What would Hermann Rorschach have to say about that?

Genghis, is that you?

Stay tuned for the twelve days of Christmas blogs entries starting on Dec 25. I’m working on larger writing projects right now so the Blog is sporadic but if you hang in there, you will find new posts from time to time.

Jon, in response to your comment, we have seen Anhingas a couple of times. If you search my blog for Paddling the Chaz you will find a picture there I believe.

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© Judy Parsons 2017