In which I present my completed pandemic pantry.
Today’s costume: amateur carpenter. I actually completed this project a few days after I first wrote about it but am only just getting around to posting it.
The pantry work was being done back while we were still self-isolating so the goal was not to purchase anything at all. Thus it is a hodge podge of whatever wood and fastenings I could dredge up from our stores. Given that our kitchen is already a hodge podge it fits in just fine. These coat hooks were salvaged from a previous closet renovation in the bedroom as was some of the pine shelving. The wide boards came from the kitchen wall.
I just couldn’t wait to put stuff on the shelves. The peaches look perfect. By the way, for years I thought canned fruit was too uncool to eat because it had been a staple at my childhood Sunday suppers along with tinned cream and homemade bread and a slice of Klik or Kam (Newfoundland Spam). I eventually got over myself and now I prefer them to the disappointing rock hard fresh peaches from the supermarket; the ones that look perfect but taste more like vegetable marrow than peach.
The project was fun and I got a little help from Lance with the cutting (I feel I am too distractible to be operating the table saw.) As usual I learned a few things. You professional woodworkers might want to move along here because you will have already figured this stuff out in your salad days. Here’s just a few of my discoveries:
If: you are consistently coming up with short boards after measuring carefully
Then: you are probably cutting on the wrong side of your mark.
If: you find yourself wishing you could grow a third hand
Then: get a clamp. Or an assistant. One you like because it’s going to be pretty tight in that closet.
If: you can’t get that drill to make a hole for love nor money
Then: you probably have the drill in reverse.
If: your phone chimes mid task and you can’t get it to unlock with the touch ID
Then: you’ve probably sanded off your fingerprints.
If: you can’t get that sander to smooth that board for love nor money
Then: change the sandpaper!! (You’d think that would be obvious but I often seemed oblivious to dull paper)
If: you think that fatigue and strain is making you go blind
Then: wipe the sanding dust off your eyeglasses.
There are an infinite number of ways to go wrong doing carpentry work and I seem to have challenged myself unwittingly to find them all. Why is it that one only drops things when one is on a ladder? Why do you put the hammer down where you won’t be able to reach it after you pick up the next nail? Why does everything you drop roll into the deepest crack? Sigh. I’m embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to notice that I had the drill bit inserted arse-first. Another example of why you should not work when you are tired. I made this cryptic note of what I thought sound advice when I was tired: “drive sander following.” I’d do that for sure if I knew what it meant.
The mat was hand-hooked by Myrtle Corkum. There was a time when all hooked mats were on floors. Nowadays you are more likely to find them on walls in which case they should probably not be called mats but be referred to as “hookings”.
© Judy Parsons 2020