…or When Life Mimics a Tom Robbins Novel

Isn’t package tracking a marvelous thing. Years ago you sent off your money in a money order (because you heeded your mother’s stern advice “do not send cash in mail”) and waited patiently until the little white card appeared in your mailbox telling you that there was a package at the Post Office. You would never know what transpired between those two events; you just had to have faith that the precious item you were awaiting would arrive as ordered and unscathed. (I once ordered a purse from Simpsons and got a three-legged milking stool. My Grandmother laughed about that for years.)

I just ordered the prints for my Christmas cards from Costco. So easy online; postage is inexpensive and they come right to your door. Eventually. EDT was Dec 3 to 6th. Last year I got them in three days so I plugged in the tracking number to see how long it would be before I could start card assembly. They started out on their journey on Nov. 25 in Texas:

I don’t know how good you are with Geography, but that is a bit of an odd route to take. Allow me to illustrate:

I suspect my photos are their way to the Florida Keys trying to find a little warm weather (it is forecast to be only 12 degrees here today). When things go astray like this I am always reminded of the Tom Robbins novel, Skinny Legs and All, in which a bunch of inanimate objects like a spoon, a dirty sock, and a can of beans go off on a wild adventure. So now when I think an item is lost, I know that it really isn’t; it just has a journey to fulfill. Like when you find a loonie on the ground and put it in your pocket only to find later that you lost it again. You probably just interrupted it on its way somewhere. I can only hope that the end destination for my package is my own mailbox and that in a couple of days it will turn up like the proverbial vintage suitcase, covered in travel stickers.

I checked again. It just left Miami. At least it won’t leave the country; it doesn’t have a passport. Sigh.

© Judy Parsons 2019

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