In the News Today

… Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Scarier than it looks.

My gracious, you have to be afraid of everything now. Apparently romaine lettuce is the new fugu fish. Eat it if you dare. I only notice because I thought I’d shake up Thanksgiving dinner and have a nice Caesar salad as my green side-dish. Off to Winn Dixie this morning to find the the lettuce shelves as bare as old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard. My question is, why are Florida supermarkets even selling California romaine lettuce anyway when we have perfectly good dirt and lots of sunshine and water here? (Click on the link for the news story.) Maybe we can only grow things on trees, like oranges, so the feral hogs can’t reach them. Speaking of feral hogs. This news story was most distressing.

A lady in Texas was killed by feral hogs. (click link…) Now I can add them critters to the list of things to be afraid of. You know I didn’t used to be afraid of much other than bears or forest fires but two years ago I was cycling in the state park when I came upon a couple of wild hogs rooting by the trail. They were just as scary as bears; what they lacked in size they made up for in attitude and the fierceness of their grunts. I didn’t stick around to photograph them – but peddled away as fast as I hoped a hog couldn’t run.

You can also add stuffed purple bunnies to the list of things I fear. Click the link to read about the story of the lost stuffed bunny Its actually a real feel-good kind of story that will bring a tear to your eye – the kind of news I fancy. That said, we live close to a small airport with lots of little planes going over the house so now I have to be afraid of things like stuffed bunnies being dropped on my head. Even if it is plush I’m sure falling from a few hundred feet would give it a little heft. Sigh. Anyone got an old motorcycle helmet you’d like to part with?

On the other hand I seem to be over-coming my fear of roast turkey. I’m even going to take the risk of cooking a real turkey for 2nd Thanksgiving. I got my turkey, my disposable baking pan with reinforced handle, my recipe (thanks Jan) and as of this morning, a brand new turkey baster. What can go wrong? I’ll let you know in a couple of days.

Now that’s an under-rated tool, the humble turkey baster – it has almost as many uses as a paper clip. I use one when I am mixing paint; it allows you to add small amounts of paint without having to tip the big can even once. It’s good for both adding and removing liquid to/from just about anything. I read somewhere you can use it to separate the yolk from an egg. Why it can even substitute for an essential body part, nudge nudge, wink wink. Got a bad case of hang-over red-eye anyone?

The world’s biggest eyedropper.

Now excuse me, I’m going to don my bike helmet, wrap myself in tin foil under a layer of bubble wrap and boil a glass of tap water for fifteen minutes.

© Judy Parsons (except for the first 3 photos I snipped from the internet. )

2 Comments to "In the News Today"

  1. Dianne's Gravatar Dianne
    November 27, 2019 - 7:48 am | Permalink

    Thank you for the laugh this morning . That final picture did it. Look out you don’t know what that baster was really used for..artificial fertilization. Have a good day my friend.

Leave a Reply