…or It’s Gotta Have the Popcorn Momma.
So the tree looked a little like it was harvested from the Grinch’s backyard outside Whoville.
But I fluffed up the branches and straightened the trunk and replaced the decorations it came with.
Needs more decorations.
Needs popcorn. Really needs popcorn. So I set about stringing popcorn.
There’s a right way to do popcorn. First you must be wearing pajamas. A good audio book helps break the monotony. I chose a Kurt Vonnegut novel to keep me amused. Quilting thread works better than ordinary thread. Some effort must be put into figuring out the perfect popcorn to cranberry ratio. This can be done while the popcorn sits with a cover on the bowl to make it soggy; it is less likely to fly apart if soggy. There is no golden ratio; factors such as size of tree, amount of cranberries available, time you have to spend, and attention span, are all variables. In this case 5 pops to 1 berry worked well. Under NO circumstances should one graze while stringing. Feed unpopped kernels to the chickens.
Whaaat? Doesn’t last year’s tree skirt make a perfect popcorn bib? The berries I nibbled must have been fermented because like our dear Frosty the Snowman, the decorations began to come to life.
“Wow, Henny, how’d y’all git yer eggs so red?”
“Gosh Penny, it must have been from grazin’ in the compost; all those beet peelings and squishy cranberries. ”
“Well durn it, I grazed the compost too and all I can get is these silly pop-farts.”
“Did someone say pop-farts?”
Goodness, what was that? Where was I? Decorating with popcorn.
There now, that looks a darn sight better.
Merry Christmas to all of my loyal readers. Now get yourselves off to bed before you get caught out by the big guy in red.
© Judy Parsons 2018
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