Tool of the Week #3

….or Meet My New Chicken Lifters.

Once, a long time ago and far far away, while at work, I Googled “lifting techniques” to find some images for a presentation I was giving on how to use good body mechanics. Ha. I hit enter and the screen was flooded with thumbnail photos of boobs in all shapes and sizes. Ha. Apparently getting a breast lift is a way more common search item than how to save one’s back. Who knew.  Anyhow, that’s not what I sat down to show you. My story today is about how to lift a chicken. Now don’t let your mind go to that frightful Mr. Bean episode in which he gets his head stuck in a turkey (I was going to post a link to that but there is something about that huge raw bumpy pink turkey that is beyond revolting ) I just want to show you a quick and easy way to get that pesky chicken out of the roaster and onto the platter.

I regret not posing with this fork in an American Gothic style.

Although I have never dropped a cooked chicken I have come pretty close. By the way, it’s only okay to pick it up and brush it off à la Julia Child if you are alone in the kitchen. I’ve tried it all manner of lifters: wooden spoons, serving spoons, carving forks, getting someone else to do it. But now my problem has been solved. Roast lifters. God’s gift to chicken cookers.

Now don’t be lookin’ too closely at that chicken. I forgot to tie its legs up so they flopped and the underside didn’t brown. Hmmm, that combination of brown and white reminds me of my Florida farmer’s tan.

I digress. The lifters held up well under the weight of this plump over-inflated Winn-Dixie hen. American chickens tend to be more the size of juvenile turkeys so this one over-filled the roaster. You probably don’t want to wonder what they feed those chickens to make them so big. I’m willing to bet it’s not spinach and home-made bread. More likely steroid and corn syrup smoothies. Mmm, smoothies. Where was I? Oh yes, lifters. (I’m going to tag this entry with ‘lifting technique’ so that when someone Googles how to restore their bosom to its former beauty they will get at least one image of a juicy roast chicken) They can be purchased for under two dollars at the local Thrift Store. Lifters, not boob jobs.

I’m a little behind in my Blog entries. Don’t be alarmed if you see Christmas decorations or Valentine chocolates in a May or June posting. It’s been a rough winter.

© Judy Parsons 2017

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