Judy P's Tickle Trunk

….or ‘Knots’ and ‘Nots’ I have known.

Forget-Me-Nots

Forget-me-nots were my first favourite flower. They would appear overnight in the gravel ditch which ran between my and Kathleen Manual’s backyards in Lewisporte, Newfoundland. I loved them because of their soft brilliant blue, the colour of the stripes on Irish crockery or a patch of blue sky on a rainy day. But I loved them most of all because they were tiny and all things miniature were special to me. I often lay on my bed and dreamed of miniature worlds where people slept in matchboxes and had bouquets of forget-me-nots in thimbles on their ointment-tin tables. Forget-me-nots would inspire the theme colours for my wedding decor.

Cat’s cradle

A string game we played often as children in Newfoundland. http://www.wikihow.com/Play-The-Cat%27s-Cradle-Game I could never get beyond the form called ‘the soldier’s bed’. I would try and play it alone for practice; enlisting my teeth, the knobs on the backs of chairs, or contrivances made from coat-hangers. Alas, I would never be as good as my older siblings.

Nautical Miles per Hour

One knot equals 1.51 miles per hour, or to be more Canadian, 1.83 kilometres per hour. I first heard mention of ‘knots’ sitting on the wood-box in the kitchen, eavesdropping while Dad commiserated with visitors about magnetos and carburetors and how fast or slow such-and-such a boat could go. I had no clue as to what they were talking about until I owned my own vessel but I sensed it all smelled of engine grease and bilge-water. Those scents still stir in me strong feelings of comfort and coziness; Chanel perfumes be damned. My 1974 Westerly Centaur had a hull speed of 6.18 but I had her up close to 8 with the right wind and tide.

Knotty Pine

Knotty pine was fashionable as a wall covering in recreation rooms and cabins (cottages to you mainlanders) in the seventies. I saw one family who wished to buck the trend and who clad their downstairs hallways with exterior clapboard. Interesting effect; that of having the house turned inside out. Knot-holes were handy for spying or for feeding goats and pigs when one feared the nip of teeth or the slather of animal lips. I used to wonder who coined a phrase frequently used by my mother: “I feel like I was dragged through a knot-‘ole”

Thou shalt not…

We should, of course, all know The Ten Commandments. As I child I knew full well that my neighbour’s ass was in no way related to his arse and therefore was not even tempted to giggle when reading or reciting it. I now believe that the commandments should be amended with the addition of an eleventh stating that “Thou shalt not allow cartoon characters with squeaky unnatural voices to sing sacred text”.

I have my own personal list of ‘do-nots’ which is quite extensive. It includes but is not limited to:

– thou shalt not kill anything you don’t plan to eat.

–  thou shalt not sook, not matter how unfair it was that you missed you turn.

– thou shalt not wear rubber boots to a wedding (this one has recently undergone a revision which makes it acceptable to wear them to your own wedding).

– thou shalt not wear black stockings with a pink dress. On the other hand, I am perfectly okay with wearing white after labour day, even though I was the only one doing so at Sue Brown’s fall wedding.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Apparently as a child I was a ‘have-not’ but had no idea. After all, we had a house, a boat, a car, and all the salt fish and doughboys we could eat. I wouldn’t trade my childhood or my family for any kind of privilege associated with the idea of ‘having it all’. Dickens had a wonderful perspective on the haves and have nots: http://charlesdickenspage.com/haves-havenots.html

Knot Theory

I loved math in my younger years but now I struggle to complete a simple Sudoku puzzle. Perhaps a new interest in the study of knot theory would help stave off the Alzheimers.

Knot a Tie

I learned to knot my own tie when I played a male character in a play about the battle of Beaumont Hamel. I later went on to use the skill regularly when we were all trying to dress like Annie Hall. Our ties were thin and worn loosely knotted. I haven’t had much of a need to wear a tie since.  I could never reverse the skill to tie the knot in another’s tie.

Tie a Knot

For years I could only tie a Granny knot. Once I took up boating I mastered the bowline and the clove hitch and many other useful knots. I wish now that I had sat at my Grampy’s or my father’s knee and learned from them what I later had to glean from books. Why as children and teenagers do we think our parent’s knowledge so irrelevant and boring?

Tie the Knot

Speaks for itself. (If you understand middle English). Here’s an article on the origin of the expression “Tie the Knot”: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/tie-the-knot.html

Thanks Jan Morrison, for the use of your retro cake topper. These contented looking folk have become our wedding mascots.

We’ve tied our knot

This is no bowline or slip knot we are talking about here. This is the proverbial knot; the knot which shall never be undone. It was tied it on June 22, 2012 at the Dingle in Halifax. I suspect that we are now the two happiest people in the world.

Advice for the newly knotted

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

(c) Judy Parsons 2012

Wedding photo courtesy of Jenn Levangie